We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
