That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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