Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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