You just made me feel so damn special
thus making me awesome and them whores
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
