would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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