Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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