i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
