Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
