Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize