i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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