the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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