"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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