remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
