Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
