you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
