As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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