Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
