I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
