She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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