The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize