I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
