News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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