Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Are we still banned from the library?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
