I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
