Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
