he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
