Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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