Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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