it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
