some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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