But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
