What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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