So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Im part way to drunk.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
