The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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