let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
