Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
