no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
