Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
