Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
