either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
