my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize