hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
