Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
