u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
