some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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