my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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