anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
