just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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