she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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