Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Sober January is a disaster.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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