2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
