oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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