So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
