K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize