Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
