I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Everyone says I win the strip club
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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