After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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