My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
