just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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