Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize