My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
