She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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