Heybabeimwearingurpanties
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
