So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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