She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
No I am not eating basil off your cock
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
