I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
