what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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