His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
