i would punch a child for taco bell
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
