Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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