Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
